Paul Stanley Gene Simmons

Kiss – Exposed!

Paul Stanley Gene Simmons
A laughable collection of has-beens that no-one takes seriously any more. But that’s enough about Parliament – here’s the Hottest Band in the World – KISS!

After the Kiss Animalized Uncensored Live video, I was keen to see more. This led me to the new video release Kiss – Exposed!.

This was packed with archive footage of the band, and set (apparently) at the band’s home. Yes, it appeared that like a comic book Morecambe and Wise, Kiss all lived together like one happy family.

Ace Frehley is playing all the right notes – just not necessarily in the right order…”

Even the doorbell rang to the tune of Rock and Roll All Nite and the house was floor-to-ceiling carpeted with glamourous looking women. I didn’t realise it at the time but the band had hired the Playboy mansion for this bit.

The loose plot consisted of a nerdy reporter wanting to interview the band. This found him finding Paul Stanley in bed with six women all named Carol ( “I went caroling last night” said Paul apologetically delivering perhaps the world’s weakest punch line), and asking whether the video for “I Want it Loud” was “a bit fascist” to which Gene Simmons dead panned “it’s not facist, it’s one of the slowest things we’ve ever done…” This, it turned out, was the world’s second weakest punch line.

Better than the jokes was the archive footage of the band from the seventies: Simmons breathing fire resplendent in full “God of Thunder” make up and looking leaner than fillet steak. Ace Frehley’s guitar solo which resulted in the guitar turning into a rocket and flying up and offstage. Peter Criss singing “Beth” appallingly but with much charm and throwing flowers into the audience. Paul Stanley still prancing around like a hairier (but thinner) Spanish pony. Looking at this footage it was clear why, along with some great tunes, Kiss were special.

The final VHS I heard about was a Kiss feature film called The Phantom of the Park. Upon release, the VHS was advertised in Shades Records at the extraordinary price of £74.99. I eventually hired it from a video shop for £3 and found a fascinating yet extraordinarily bad feature film with acting that would be an insult to chairs to call wooden. I felt robbed spending £3, never mind £75…

Double live albums Kiss Alive and Alive II were huge commercial successes in the ’70s and both show the band at their best. The first also rather wonderfully features Stanley’s vodka and orange juice rap: it had clearly been going over well with the crowd for over a decade!

It’s easy to knock Kiss. Critics might point to the odd mediocre record (inevitable when you’ve been around for nearly 40 years), relentless fleecing of their fan base with licensed merchandise and plagiarism from originators like Alice Cooper, Bowie, New York Dolls etc.

When Kiss produced their own Kiss comic and added a little of their blood into the printing ink, Alice Cooper was asked if he would like to do the same. He wryly replied “Sure: I’d like to use all of Kiss’s blood in a comic book!”

However, like any band that has had ups and downs, none of that matters when I hear the car crash and opening chords of Detroit Rock City, or Deuce, or Black Diamond, or Cold Gin, or Love Gun, or Christine Sixteen, or Rocket Ride, or Strutter, or Shout it Out Loud, or, or…

Record #45: Kiss – Detroit Rock City


14 responses to “Kiss – Exposed!”

  1. Avatar

    I was a HUGE Kiss fan when I was in the 8th grade.
    I got to see them a few times many years later to help promote their…I think it was a video game(?) Up front row!
    They were still rocking!


    1. every record tells a story Avatar

      …video game, pinball machine, bread making machine, you name it, they’ll sell it…! I did see them a couple of times, but always without the face paint, and about a hundred rows back. Still a good live band though.


  2. 80smetalman Avatar

    I wasn’t a big KISS fan back in the 70s because I bought into the right wing fundamentalist crap that the band’s name was an anogram for Knights IN Satan’s Service. God I can’t believe I was that dumb. I really appreciate them now and the influence they had on metal.


    1. every record tells a story Avatar

      Yes – I heard that one too. It turned out they weren’t Satanists after all. Just mysogynists…and capitalists..


    2. Phillip Helbig Avatar

      The religious fundamentalists also claimed that they were Nazis. Never mind the fact that Nazis look completely different. However, anyone who knows anything about Gene Simmons’s background knows how utterly absurd such a claim is. (For those who don’t know: his real name is Chaim Witz and among the languages he speaks are Yiddish and Hebrew. Most of his family died in the Holocaust and he lived for a while in Israel. Not your typical Nazi.) (A similar claim was later made, for other reasons, against the band Rush, to which drummer Neil Peart replied “Right; we’re the only Nazi band with a Jewish bassist”. (Bassist Geddy Lee’s parents actually met in Auschwitz.))


  3. mikeladano Avatar

    This beats any review that I could have posted. Nicely done. I still love Kiss eXposed. I loved Gene’s stupid jokes.


    1. every record tells a story Avatar

      Thanks for reading – I was just enjoying your post about what people said to you in a record store….very funny


      1. mikeladano Avatar

        Thanks…I managed one for 10 years. Later on I’ll be posting one about semi-famous people that I met there, which isn’t many but hopefully amusing.


  4. youjivinmeturkey Avatar

    Reblogged this on "You Jivin' Me, Turkey?" and commented:
    I. LOVE. KISS.
    Period. =D
    ROCK ON!!!


  5. sirrahh Avatar

    My favorite line from “Phantom” was “Gene’s clean!” I think Paul said it, or maybe it was Ace. No matter.


    1. every record tells a story Avatar

      It’s almost Shakespearean isn’t it?


      1. sirrahh Avatar

        Yeah, that’s it. The whole story was straight out of the Bard. LOL


  6. Phillip Helbig Avatar

    I remember an interview in Mojo when the topic turned to Simmons’s net worth. His reply: “A few hundred”. Interviewer: “Million dollars?” Simmons: “What else?”. 🙂


    1. every record tells a story Avatar

      He’s got all the good jokes has Gene…


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