The music world was left in shock today when a prominent musician, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was described as having a “monogamous relationship” with his well known wife. The revelations may leave the indie star’s reputation in tatters as close friends rallied round.
“I can’t believe it’s true” said one band mate. “I always assumed he was as bad as the rest of us. It turns out he may have been hiding this guilty secret from us for years.”
“I feel betrayed” said another, “There have been several times on tour in the States when we left him in his hotel room with any number of really attractive girls. If it turns out he just made them chamomile tea and gave them no more than an autograph I’ll be really annoyed. For a start, I could have had them. In fact I can think of a few girls when it would have been criminal not to. I’m really disappointed in him”.
Close friends also showed concern. “It’s their kids I feel sorry for” said one, “The teasing in the playground will be merciless if it turns out their dad, who everyone assumed was a controversial rock star, is actually a really nice chap.”
Meanwhile a music industry source, who asked not to be named, said “It’s the sheer hypocrisy that I object to. He’s made a fortune and built a reputation on being a thoroughly objectionable human being. But I began to have my doubts after I saw him buy his wife some flowers at the local garage” the source added.
There have been isolated examples of monogamy in musicians historically, but these instances are rare. A recent study by Smeal University recently concluded that of the five hundred most prominent musicians in the UK, only two had never slept with a woman outside of wedlock.