The Worst Ten Records You Must Avoid This Record Store Day

You know what it’s like. You’ve been camping overnight on the street outside Rough Trade East. You are sleep deprived. For the last hour you have been listening to a record dealer talk to a hipster as they swap tales of limited edition versions of obscure Nigerian goat flute music. It has started to rain, but that’s okay as the noise on your umbrella is drowning out the drone of the conversation…..

….and then you wake up, confused. You look up in horror as the queue streams past you – and as you recover your senses you realise you’ve lost your place in the queue and all the good stuff is being taken. Desperately making up for lost time, you grab a few singles and an album and push your way to the counter. Job done! But……when you get home, you realise you made some bad choices. That’s not the Damon Albarn single. And that isn’t the Neil Young box set…

In case this happens to you this year (again), here’s what is I hope a helpful list of the Record Store Day 2014 Records To Avoid:

1. New Order: World in Motion – The John Barnes Out-takes. (2-LP in “football” picture disc with “crying Gazza” poster: limited to 1,966 copies. £120).

From the original studio session in 1990, this rare collection of out-takes was recently discovered, hidden again, and re-discovered. Features studio chatter (mainly Gazza talking about the favourite at Aintree) plus England player John Barnes as he freestyles for two hours whilst coming up with his now legendary rap.

Extras: Also features early unintelligible discarded attempt at the rap by Peter Beardsley, plus early acoustic demo of Hoddle and Waddle’s “Diamond Lights”

2. Deadmau5 – Unplugged (7″ single: £39.99)

A stripped back performance from the EDM king captured on 7″ “Maus” shaped vinyl. Essentially the sound of a guy in a mouse-suit standing behind a desk holding a glow-stick during a power cut, critics have called this record “his most enjoyable single so far”.

3. Will To Power: Baby I Love Your Way / Freebird Medley

12″ re-release in vomit-flavoured vinyl. £250. Limited to 250 copies. B-side of Peter Frampton singing medley of hits from the Sgt Pepper Soundtrack.

4. William Shatner – Mr Tambourine Man: The Very Best of TJ Hooker. Single LP in silver vinyl. £50.

A superb compilation of Shatner’s best moments, plus bonus 7″ of demos. Thrill! to the sound of Shatner over-or-under-emoting every. word. slowly. depending upon which is *least*appropriate. Gasp! to the sound of Shatner rehearsing exactly where to incorrectly *place* emphasis on words. Includes limited edition “nodding” William Shatner figurine.

5. Lou Reed – Metal Machine Music (2LP)

Covered by Metallica. Lars Ulrich felt Lou Reed’s classic LP was “too accessible”, so Metallica has re-recorded it in heartfelt homage to the singer who sadly passed away in 2013. Early reviews suggest the end result is “almost as good as Lulu”. £400.

6. Various Artists: A Tribute To Milli Vanilli

Features cover versions of all Milli Vanilli’s greatest hits played by Blue, 5ive, Kerry Katona, S Club Seven, PJ and Duncan, Sinitta, Nathan from Brother Beyond, Craig McLaughlin, the drummer in Bros, Peter Andre, A1 and Atomic Kitten. Excitingly, this record also welcomes back some of the session musicians and singers from the original recordings. £75 with deluxe book, CD, download and 180g vinyl.

7. Andrew Ridgely: Guitar Man

“Long-lost debut solo album by the talented one in Wham!” say the liner notes. Ridgely’s album was recorded just as George Michael’s  “Faith” hit the top of the charts and features guest appearances from Pepsi and Shirley, Nick Hayward and the keyboard player in Level 42. Strangely unreleased, this album “showcases Ridgely’s incredible guitar technique”. Songs include a cover of George Harrison’s “If Not For You”. £60. Limited to 20,000 copies, individually numbered.

8. “Here’s A Song From My New Album” Live In London:

For the first time ever bringing together two classic moments in pop history on a double b-side 7″: Adam Ant: The One He Played At Live Aid and George Michael: The One He Played At The Olympic Closing Ceremony. In brown coloured vinyl. £13.99.

9. Bolton, Clayderman, Richard and Last: Live at The Apollo

This record captures the special night when the supergroup of Michael Bolton, Richard Clayderman, and Cliff Richard played the legendary Apollo in Harlem, New York backed by the James Last Orchestra. Highlights include Beatles classic “A Taste of Honey”, “The Millennium Prayer”, a twenty minute excerpt from “Blood Brothers” and the Rice/Lloyd-Webber classic “You’ve Got To Pick A Pocket Or Two”.

2LP, limited to 8,000 copies. £85. Includes a replica program from the evening and free download of bonus track “Reach For The Stars” featuring a guest appearance by Nigel from S Club Jrs.

10. Judas Priest – The Stock Aitken and Waterman Hit Factory EP.

In 1989 Judas Priest visited the Stock Aitken and Waterman PWL studios (“The Hit Factory”) and recorded three songs. “I Will Return”, “You Keep Giving Me The Runaround” and a remake of the Stylistics’ “You Are Everything”. “I Will Return” was so good, it was later rejected by Jason Donovan. For the first time ever these songs are available on record Store Day.

Limited to 100 copies. In studded multi-coloured leather sleeve. Comes with free pair of Pete Waterman comedy spectacles. £230.63 plus VAT.